What your custody order says about information

Start with the decree or custody order and the parenting plan attached to it, plus any later modification. Look for a section on records, school, medical care, or communication between parents. Some orders spell this out. Others say nothing and rely on Utah’s general guidelines. A few limit what one parent can access, often for safety reasons.

Here’s why that order matters so much. The school and the doctor’s office aren’t trying to referee your divorce. When a front office says no, it’s often because someone handed them a document, or told them something, and they’re not sure what applies. The fastest fix is often a copy of the right paperwork in the right hands.

While you’ve got the order out, also check for a dispute-resolution clause. Utah Courts notes that joint-custody orders often require parents to try mediation or another process before going back to court to change the arrangement. That clause doesn’t stop you from asking a school for records. It does matter if this turns into a court question.

What Utah law says about records for both parents

Utah’s custody and parent-time guidelines are in Utah Code 81-9-202. Before family law was renumbered into Title 81, the same material was in sections 30-3-33 and 30-3-36. If your decree is older, that’s why you may see the older numbers in it.

The statute calls these advisory guidelines “suggested to govern” a custody and parent-time arrangement. That word, advisory, is important. Your specific order controls where it addresses something. Where it’s silent, these guidelines are often the starting point.

The part that speaks to records and events is subsection (10). In plain language:

• The custodial parent should notify the noncustodial parent within 24 hours of receiving notice of significant school, social, sports, and community functions the child is taking part in or being honored at.
• The noncustodial parent is entitled to attend and participate fully in those functions.
• The noncustodial parent should have direct access to all school reports, including preschool and daycare reports, and to medical records.
• Either parent should immediately notify the other in a medical emergency.

A few nearby guidelines matter too. Each parent should give the other their current address, phone number, and email within 24 hours of a change. Each parent should give child care providers the other parent’s name and contact information, unless the court orders otherwise for good cause. And a parent may not interrupt regular school hours for a school-age child to exercise parent-time.

What people commonly get wrong about records access

When a parent gets shut out, the instinct is to assume the worst, or to push back hard. Before you do either, check whether one of these assumptions is in play.

“Only the custodial parent can get school records.”

Not under federal law. The U.S. Department of Education’s FERPA guidance says that, unless the school has evidence of a court order, state law, or other legally binding document that specifically says otherwise, custodial and noncustodial parents alike have rights to their child’s education records. The school may ask for proof that you’re the parent, like a birth certificate or court order. Bring one.

“The other parent told the school to keep me out, so that’s that.”

FERPA’s exception is about legal documents, not preferences. The guidance refers to a court order, state law, or legally binding document that specifically provides otherwise. If the school is relying on something, it’s fair to ask, politely, what it is. Sometimes it’s a protective order or a provision in your decree you need to know about. Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding.

“Utah’s guidelines override whatever my order says.”

It’s closer to the other way around. Utah Code 81-9-202 describes these as advisory guidelines. If your order has its own terms on records, schools, or medical decisions, read those first.

“Daycare and preschool don’t count.”

They do, under Utah’s guideline. Subsection (10)(c) specifically includes preschool and daycare reports in the noncustodial parent’s direct access. Parents of younger kids miss this often.

“If they shut me out, I’ll hold back support until they cooperate.”

Please don’t. Under subsection (9) of the same Utah statute, one parent’s failure to follow the parent-time order is not a reason for the other to hold back support or parent-time. Self-help retaliation tends to turn a clean complaint into a two-sided mess.

“I need to file an Order to Show Cause.”

You’ll still see that phrase online, but it’s outdated. According to Utah Courts, “Order to Show Cause” was the name used before May 1, 2021. What you’d file now is a Motion to Enforce Order, and Utah Rule of Civil Procedure 7B sets the rules for it. An old template with the old caption is worth replacing before it goes anywhere near a court.

School records and school events

For kids in Kaysville and Clearfield public schools, that usually means Davis School District. The district has a written student privacy policy, Board Policy 11IR-110, Student Data and Family Privacy Protection, which used to be called its FERPA policy. If you’re running into trouble, it’s reasonable to ask the school how that policy applies to your request.

How to ask so it goes smoothly

1. Bring proof you’re the parent, like a birth certificate or a copy of your custody order. FERPA guidance says a school may ask for one.
2. Ask in writing, briefly. Say which records you want and that you’re the child’s parent.
3. If they say no, ask which document they’re relying on. You’re entitled to know what you’re up against.
4. Write down who you spoke with, the date, and what they said.

Events are a parent question, not a school question

Under Utah’s guidelines, notice of games, concerts, assemblies, and awards is mostly the custodial parent’s job. The guideline calls for passing that notice along within 24 hours of receiving it, and says the noncustodial parent can attend and take part fully. If you keep hearing about events after they happen, that’s an issue with the other parent and your order, not with the school.

Medical and counseling records

Under federal HIPAA guidance from HHS, a parent generally can access a minor child’s medical records as the child’s “personal representative,” as long as that isn’t inconsistent with state or other law. HHS describes three situations where a parent isn’t treated as the personal representative. It also says a provider may decline to treat a parent that way if the provider reasonably believes the child has been or may be abused, neglected, or endangered.

So when a clinic hesitates, there may be a reason beyond “we only talk to one parent.” It may be checking for a court order, or applying a rule that fits a specific kind of care. Bring a copy of your order, ask what the office needs, and keep notes.

Utah’s guideline also covers emergencies. Either parent should immediately tell the other if the child has a medical emergency. If you found out about an ER visit days later, write down when and how you learned of it.

Counseling and therapy records deserve their own conversation. They can raise questions a pediatrician’s chart doesn’t, so I’d treat them as a separate question rather than assume the general medical-records answer covers them.

What you can do when access is refused

Think of this as a ladder. Most people never need the top rungs.

1. Clear up the paperwork

Give the school or provider your order and proof you’re the parent. Ask, in writing, what they’re relying on if they still say no.

2. Keep a record

Write down each refusal or missed notice: date, who you talked to, what was said, and what your order provides. Save emails and texts. If it’s the other parent withholding event information, note when you learned about each event.

3. Check your order’s dispute-resolution clause

If your order requires mediation or another process before going back to court, that may be the next step, especially if you’re thinking about changing the order.

4. Enforce the order you have

If the other parent is the one blocking you, and your order or the guidelines in it give you access, the tool is a Motion to Enforce Order. It goes into your existing custody case, and Rule 7B requires it to be sworn or supported by an affidavit laying out specific facts. At the hearing, the question is whether the other parent was aware of the order, had the ability to comply, and chose not to. The burden of showing that is yours, which is why your dated notes matter.

5. Change the order if it no longer works

If the order itself is the problem, maybe it’s silent on records, or it doesn’t fit your family anymore, that’s a petition to modify. Utah Courts explains that, without agreement, the court decides whether there’s been a material and substantial change in circumstances and whether a change would be in the child’s best interests. Utah Code 81-9-208 sets a different standard for parent-time changes, which need a change in circumstances. Parents who agree can file a stipulated petition together.

If you’re the parent being asked to share

Maybe you’re on the other side of this. The other parent says you’re shutting them out, and you’re not sure what you’re required to do. Utah’s guidelines lay out the expectations fairly plainly.

• Pass along notice of significant school, social, sports, and community events within 24 hours of receiving it.
• Tell the other parent right away about a medical emergency.
• Share your current address, phone number, and email within 24 hours of a change.
• Give child care providers the other parent’s name and contact information, unless the court has ordered otherwise for good cause.

If you have a real safety concern about the other parent having access to records or information, the answer isn’t to quietly stop sharing. FERPA guidance points to court orders and legally binding documents. HIPAA guidance gives providers room to act on concerns about abuse or endangerment. If you believe a limit is needed, talk with a lawyer about asking the court for one. That protects your child and protects you from looking like the parent who wouldn’t follow the order.

A simple way to word a records request

When you ask a school or a clinic for records, short and calm works best. Something like this is usually enough:

Keep a copy of what you sent and the date. If the answer is no, that email becomes part of your record.

Questions to bring to a consultation

If we sit down together, these will help us get somewhere quickly:

• What does your decree or parenting plan say about records, schools, medical care, and communication?
• Is there any protective order or other court order that limits contact or information?
• Who refused you: the school, a provider, or the other parent?
• What exactly were you told, and what did they say they were relying on?
• How many times has this happened, and do you have dates?
• Does your order require mediation before going back to court?
• Do you want the current order followed, or do you think the order needs to change?
• Are counseling or therapy records part of the question?